We have some great discussions in our Live Life by the Book Class and this week, after we were looking at the lesson on how we should treat those who are unkind to us, one of the class members asked if God was telling us to be kind so people would feel badly. Though that is an understandable and possible conclusion, at the time I remarked that it seemed like a proverbial statement—that though that might happen, there is a difference between saying something might happen and that we should do something a certain way because of a possible outcome.
As always I try to do additional homework on questions. Following are some of the results I found.
Passage under discussion, Romans 12:17-21, what we’ll look at
This is part of the overall section in Romans 12 where Paul is detailing how a Christian should live. Below is the passage and then following are the sources for Paul’s quote in the Old Testament. After that I’ll make a few comments on the Proverbs source and following that, I’ll quote a number of interesting commentaries on the passage. There are quite a few of them, but take time to read them through to deeply understand the passage.
One more introductory comment
We were talking about a number of things at the end of class, and it is important to clarify that Jesus did say a similar thing about being kind to enemies, but He didn’t have the “burning coals” comment in the Sermon on the Mount where he said:
Matt. 5: 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
One note on that passage is a reminder that “perfect” means to be a complete, mature Christian. To love and pray for enemies is a mark of a mature Christian because without Christ’s life and power in us, few of us can see past the pain and hurt others have caused to love and pray for them.
Roman’s passage and commentaries
Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Here Paul is quoting two Old Testament passages, first:
Deut. 32: 35 It is mine to avenge; I will repay.
This passage clearly tells us who is in charge of revenge and punishment—that is God’s prerogative. He is merciful far beyond our comprehension, but He is also just. Because of that, Proverbs tells us how to act in this passage:
Prov. 25:21 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the LORD will reward you.
It is important to keep in mind, when looking at Proverbs that they are in poetic, figurative, metaphorical language. In many of the Proverbs, the outcome is what most likely will happen in a metaphorical sense, but they are not absolute, literal promises. For example in the same chapter—you find these verses:
Prov. 25:12 Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold
is the rebuke of a wise judge to a listening ear.Prov. 25:15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
We would not say that we should speak gently so that we can break someone’s bones or that we’ll get a gold earring if we rebuke someone. What these verses show in metaphorical language is that if we speak gently it can be powerful and if we rebuke wisely it can be valuable. No guarantees, but possible outcomes that God encourages.
“Heaping burning coals” is similar, but the commentators below, with the URL source provide beneficial insight:
Commentaries on “heaping burning coals” passage in Romans
Jamieson, Faussett, and Brown
http://www.ewordtoday.com/comments/romans/jfb/romans12.htm
20. if thine enemy hunger, &c.–This is taken from Pr 25:21, 22, which without doubt supplied the basis of those lofty precepts on that subject which form the culminating point of the Sermon on the Mount.
in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head–As the heaping of “coals of fire” is in the Old Testament the figurative expression of divine vengeance (Ps 140:10; 11:6, &c.), the true sense of these words seems to be, “That will be the most effectual vengeance–a vengeance under which he will be fain to bend” (So ALFORD, HODGE, &c.). Ro 12:21 confirms this.
21. Be not overcome of evil–for then you are the conquered party.
but overcome evil with good–and then the victory is yours; you have subdued your enemy in the noblest sense.
Matt. Henry, Commentary on Matt. Passage
http://www.ewordtoday.com/comments/romans/mh/romans12.htm
In deed (v. 20): “If thine enemy hunger, as thou hast ability and opportunity, be ready and forward to show him any kindness, and do him any office of love for his good; and be never the less forward for his having been thine enemy, but rather the more, that thous mayest thereby testify the sincerity of thy forgiveness of him.” It is said of archbishop Cranmer that the way for a man to make him his friend was to do him an ill turn. The precept is quoted from Prov. 25:21, 22; so that, high as it seems to be, the Old Testament was not a stranger to it. Observe here, First, What we must do. We must do good to our enemies. “If he hunger, do not insult over him, and say, Now God is avenging me of him, and pleading my cause; do not make such a construction of his wants. But feed him.” Then, when he has need of thy help, and thou hast an opportunity of starving him and trampling upon him, then feed him (psoµmize auton, a significant word)—”feed him abundantly, nay, feed him carefully and indulgently:” frustulatim pasce—feed him with small pieces, “feed him, as we do children and sick people, with much tenderness. Contrive to do it so as to express thy love. If he thirst, give him drink: potize auton—drink to him, in token of reconciliation and friendship. So confirm your love to him.” Secondly, Why we must do this. Because in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Two senses are given of this, which I think are both to be taken in disjunctively. Thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head; that is, “Thou shalt either,” 1. “Melt him into repentance and friendship, and mollify his spirit towards thee” (alluding to those who melt metals; they not only put fire under them, but heap fire upon them; thus Saul was melted and conquered with the kindness of David, 1 Sa. 24:16; 26:21)—”thou wilt win a friend by it, and if thy kindness have not that effect then,” 2. “It will aggravate his condemnation, and make his malice against thee the more inexcusable. Thou wilt hereby hasten upon him the tokens of God’s wrath and vengeance.” Not that this must be our intention in showing him kindness, but, for our encouragement, such will be the effect. To this purpose is the exhortation in the last vers, which suggests a paradox not easily understood by the world, that in all matters of strife and contention those that revenge are the conquered, and those that forgive are the conquerors. (1.) “Be not overcome of evil. Let not the evil of any provocation that is given you have such a power over you, or make such an impression upon you, as to dispossess you of yourselves, to disturb your peace, to destroy your love, to ruffle and discompose your spirits, to transport you to any indecencies, or to bring you to study or attempt any revenge.” He that cannot quietly bear an injury is perfectly conquered by it. (2.) “But overcome evil with good, with the good of patience and forbearance, nay, and of kindness and beneficence to those that wrong you. Learn to defeat their ill designs against you, and either to change them, or at least to preserve your own peace.” He that hath this rule over his spirit is better than the mighty.
Prov. 25:21 Commentary
From: http://preceptaustin.org/romans_1218-21.htm
By this it appears that, however the scribes and Pharisees had corrupted the law, not only the commandment of loving our brethren, but even that of loving our enemies, was not only a new, but also an old commandment, an Old-Testament commandment, though our Saviour has given it to us with the new enforcement of his own great example in loving us when we were enemies. Observe, 1. How we must express our love to our enemies by the real offices of kindness, even those that are expensive to ourselves and most acceptable to them: “If they be hungry and thirsty, instead of pleasing thyself with their distress and contriving how to cut off supplies from them, relieve them, as Elisha did the Syrians that came to apprehend him,” 2 King 6:22. 2. What encouragement we have to do so. (1.) It will be a likely means to win upon them, and bring them over to be reconciled to us; we shall mollify them as the refiner melts the metal in the crucible, not only by putting it over the fire, but by heaping coals of fire upon it. The way to turn an enemy into a friend is, to act towards him in a friendly manner. If it do not gain him, it will aggravate his sin and punishment, and heap the burning coals of God’s wrath upon his head, as rejoicing in his calamity may be an occasion of God’s turning his wrath from him, ch. 24:17. (2.) However, we shall be no losers by our self-denial: “Whether he relent towards thee or no, the Lord shall reward thee; he shall forgive thee who thus showest thyself to be of a forgiving spirit. He shall provide for thee when thou art in distress (though thou hast been evil and ungrateful), as thou dost for thy enemy; at least it shall be recompensed in the resurrection of the just, when kindnesses done to our enemies shall be remembered as well as those shown to God’s friends.”
William MacDonald reminds us that…
From: http://preceptaustin.org/romans_1218-21.htm
Christianity goes beyond non-resistance to active benevolence. It does not destroy its enemies by violence but converts them by love.” (MacDonald, W & Farstad, A. Believer’s Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson or Logos)
FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD: touto gar poion (PAPMSN) anthrakas puros soreuseis (2SFAI) epi ten kephalen autou: (Psalms 120:4; 140:10; Song 8:6,7)
Heap burning coals – Obviously this is not literal but figurative language (See terms of comparison — metaphor) Is the heaping coals of fire on his head something good in the eyes of our enemy or is it something bad? Clearly in context it is something that is not calculated to aggravate to appease.
Heap (4987) (soreuo from soros = a heap) means to heap up, pile on or amass by setting one thing atop another (used only here and Lxx of Pr 25:22). The idea in part appears to be that of overcoming hostility against oneself by showing kindness to the hostile party. In short, this metaphor could refer to a “burning conviction” which kindness places on our enemy.
Burning (4442) (puros)
Coals (440) (anthrax) refers to charcoal or a burning ember.
Thayer has this note associated with his definition of anthrax noting that heaping burning colas signifies…
to call up, by the favors you confer on your enemy, the memory in him of the wrong he has done you (which shall pain him as if live coals were heaped on his head), that he may the more readily repent. The Arabians call things that cause very acute mental pain burning coals of the heart and fire in the liver; cf. Gesenius in Rosenmüller’s Biblical-exeg. Repert. i., p. 140f (or in his Thesaurus i. 280; cf. also BB. DD. under the word Coal).
Other commentators feel heaping burning coals refers to the practice of lending coals from a fire (this was the best that one has to give another person because the fire from coals was very valuable in the ancient world and necessary for warmth and cooking) to help a neighbor start their own. Such an act of kindness that would be appreciated. It reminds one of the phrase “Killing them with kindness.” However as the world uses this aphorism, it is selfishly, fleshly motivated. Such is not to be the case with believers who can only carry this action out in the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit.
William MacDonald comments…
If the live coal treatment seems cruel, it is because this idiomatic expression is not properly understood. To heap live coals on a person’s head means to make him ashamed of his hostility by surprising him with unconventional kindness. (MacDonald, W & Farstad, A. Believer’s Bible Commentary: Thomas Nelson or Logos)
William Newell has a lengthy note on this verse…
Here are specific directions for active love toward an enemy,—praying for him meanwhile, as Christ commanded: “Bless them that persecute you, pray for them that despitefully use you.” (Ro 12:14–Romans 12:14) There is no more terrible danger than that of cherished revenge; and nothing marks out so blazingly a Christian path as love toward a foe. The Indians who inhabited America when the white man came, hated one another, tribe against tribe. The war paint, the warpath, the tomahawk, the scalp lock,—and pride in it all! was the hell-mark wherewith Satan branded these poor heathen,—and where are they today? No less devilish are the ghastly family “feuds” in certain parts of America. No less significant is the kind of man admired in some regions: “He won’t take a word from anybody”; “He’ll fight at the drop of the hat,” and the like.
Now the promise is most striking indeed, that in a deed of kindness to an enemy we shall “heap coals of fire upon his head.” Of course, as always, when the literal statements of God’s judgment are made, we are apt to shrink in timidity and unbelief, and seek to evade the actualities. But remember exactly what we are dealing with: we are asked to step aside from self-avenging, and “give place” to God’s coming vengeance and recompense. Of course, we continue loving our enemies and praying for them, hoping they may repent. Thus we are sharing the feeling of God Himself, who “takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked, and would have all men to be saved.” Nevertheless, we know in our hearts that many will refuse Divine mercy, and go on to that day of vengeance. And what do we read in the Scriptures about “coals of fire” at that time?
Let burning coals fall upon them;
Let them be cast into the fire,
Into deep pits, whence they shall not rise (Ps 140:10).
Upon the wicked He will rain snares;
Fire and brimstone and burning wind shall be the portion of their cup (Ps 11:6).
It is a trifling exposition that would make the “coals of fire” of Romans 12:20, quoted from Proverbs 25:21, 22, a mere figure—and meaning, really, nothing!
The knowledge and constant remembrance by the saints of the coming literal doom of the wicked, is both a deep incentive to a holy walk, and a strong motive for loving and praying for them. But let us not forget that the more we are “a sweet savor of Christ unto God” as we preach the gospel, the more we become “a savor from death unto death in them that are perishing” (2Co 2:14, 15, 16). Paul significantly, just here, adds the words: “And who is sufficient for these things? For we are not as the many, corrupting the Word of God” (2Co 2:17). Our Lord Himself said, “If I had not come and spoken unto them, they had not had sin: but now they have no excuse for their sin.” It is a fearful thought that in our kindness to enemies—enemies of our Lord and of ourselves for the gospel’s sake, we may be increasing their doom: but the responsibility is theirs; the obedient kindness, ours! (Romans Verse by Verse)
Carl Westerlund, Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, preaching outline with excellent cross-references
http://www.blueletterbible.org/commentaries/comm_view.cfm?AuthorID=47&contentID=8313&commInfo=79&topic=Romans%20Chapter%2012&ar=Rom_12_20
1.1 DO NOT RETALIATE
2.1 The contrast with public law
2.2 A biblical teaching concerning personal revenge:
3.1 SOLOMON
3.2 PETER
3.3 JESUS
1.2 STAY ABOVE BOARD
2.1 Premeditated planning
2.2 Bestowing that which is visibly, outwardly, and tangibly good
1.3 SEEK PEACE
2.1 We take the initiative
2.2 This does not mean moral compromise
1.4 LET GOD HANDLE IT
2.1 The negative command: Do not seek vengeance
2.2 The positive command: Give place to wrath
3.1 MAN’S WRATH DOES NOT PRODUCE GOD’S RIGHTEOUSNESS
3.2 MAN’S WRATH PRODUCES THE WORKS OF THE FLESH
2.3 The reason: We can count on God’s judgment
3.1 GOD IS JUST
4.1 He is slow to anger
4.2 He knows the heart
3.2 God will judge
4.1 By giving man up to their depravity
4.2 By judging finally
1.5 TAKE AFFIRMATIVE ACTION
2.1 Example #1: Hunger
2.2 Example #2: Thirst
2.3 The reason
1.6 FIGHT WITH THE POSITIVE, NOT THE NEGATIVE
2.1 Acting with anger shows might makes right
2.2 Passivity makes one appear as a coward
2.3 Actively doing good is the winning way
3.1 JESUS’ WAY
4.1 Christ’s sacrificial love has made major impact
4.2 We are called to follow in His steps
3.2 THE RENEWED MIND LEADS TO VICTORY
until full light 
Lots of interesting comments here on the “heaping coals” verse. I think I have a better understanding of it now. Thanks for putting all this information together!
Thank you so much! I really needed to understand this deep within my heart, and the comments here worked on my spirit. Praise the Lord, In Jesus name.